Patience: One thing I pretty much never had. And now…? If I am asked to single out a single quality that is required in being a parent… well…. that would be PATIENCE. Lots and lots of it. Some days no matter how far your tolerance level is reached, it still gets crossed.
Why do babies want us to lose our minds? i dont understand. why wont they sleep when its time for them to sleep and even their eyes are suggesting that they are sleepy, but some fake energy tells them to keep on playing/shouting/irritating..
Hamza is giving me an extremely hard time whenever we go outside. He hates driving in the car! Absolutely hates it. And now he wont sit down even for a second. I dont know from where he gets his Herculean (i made it up) force and power. He beats me at strength! at few days short of 9 months! It gets extremely hard to control him in the car. He seems to thrash open the door or jump out of the windscreen! Needless to say i go absolutely nuts!
A sense of helplessness, hopelessness comes over me in such situations when i cant seem to control his intentions, wishes, actions. The kind of feeling when you know you have tried more than enough, put in an immense amount of effort into a task but it still is FAR from getting completed. Sigh. Like right now, i had been rocking him to sleep for an hour and a half, wanting to have a few alone minutes to myself before i doze off too. But he had other plans. And not letting his mother have peace was one of them, apparently. I tasted blood from where i bit my under lip to relieve some of the anger and helplessness.
I guess I am just having a bad day and taking it out on my baby, which is not fair to him also. Cause the best moments of any day are also given by him. The hysterically uncontrollable laughter at my peek-a-boo while he was in crib was definitely the highlight of my
day night. I love him so. I am just a bit short on help on handling him and by night time, I am so done!
Well……. Here is hoping to a better and calmer tomorrow (please dear God).