2. Reading The Bride —- by Bapsi Sidhwa.
3. Building blocks and upturned cart.
4. Perfect green smoothie to start the day.
6. “Look i found a leaf!”
7 & 8. My house plants.
9 & 10. Oranges…. Joys of winter.
I feel so bad these days, for nt giving proper attention to my baby. All day i m consumed with house chores, even if hez 24 hrs infront of my eyes, i m miss him. Miss playing with him. Miss watching him. Miss being silly with him. All i do is change him, feed him n make him sleep, while keeping an eye for his safety all the time. But thts nt enough! Just now wen he was in my lap, n i was stroking his hair putting him to sleep, i realized how grown up he is, tht he can b by himself for such long intervals of time. He does ask for me in between my cooking sessions or watever, but mostly i m so tied up tht i just distract him with something else n continue with work.
One day, he ll be all grown up and he wont need me anymore. I dont want that day to come soon. I want to protect him, i want him to live under my feathers for as long as possible. My baby. My piece of heart. I will always (even now) need you more than you will need me.
3. Buttermilk biscuits with mushroom gravy
4. Sipping on water while watching the movie. Can anything be cuter than this picture.
5. Handsome in red.
6. That scowl, haha.
7. obsessed with lotions, deodorants and such utility bottles.
I have not posted for many days now as this week was super busy work-wise. I had to do the cleaning, cooking, everything myself, which is not an easy task with a toddler and leaves you with no spare time.
I was thinking about my progress today regarding my new year resolutions, and so far i am happy to report i m going good. I m pushing myself to do the things that matter most, and doing the right things, however difficult that sometimes is.
I have been reading good. Read this book by Tehmina Durrani last week.
And reading this book by Bapsi Sidhwa this week.
I have been posting to my 365 Project regularly.
I have been trying new recipes. Tried making buttermilk biscuits with mushroom gravy yesterday.
But the best part is I am following Focus T25 workout plan. Down with week#1. Feels really good. Lets face it, i love food, cant stay away from it, so working out good is the way for me 😉
Looking forward to taking stock of my progress next week, and the weeks that follow. Signing off for now.
I never knew i was such a conventional person at heart. But lately, I am coming to more and more realisations about myself. I am learning to accept myself finally for what I am, and not what my idea of myself is.
I like boring things. I like freshly made beds, the smell of just-laundered clothes, the sound of soup simmering away on the stove, the background sound of tv as I accomplish daily household chores.
I like putting away messes of cluttered objects many times a day, thanks to my toddler son. I like doing things as planned. I like putting stuff back in order. It gives a strange satisfaction and makes me feel like i am in control of my life. Its the little things that matter so much to me. That my baby has napped well, he has eaten his lunch etc.
I like to stay on top of things. There is always milk in the fridge, snacks in the pantry. And when not, I like making lists. I LOVE making lists. and then checking off the completed items.
I have accepted that i am a domestic person at heart. There is nothing that gives me more happiness than seeing my little family together at the end of the day, whether its when my husband is working on his laptop and my baby is busy making messes around the family room and I am sipping on tea while the tv blares in background, or its when the three of us are taking a drive around the city, or when my boys are finally sleeping with their mouths agape and their limbs arranged in a disorderly fashion. God my heart swells with love for these two. I want nothing more. Just their happiness and well-being and health. (and maybe an occasional chance to go to the movies, its been sooooo long i tell u).
Although we muslims dont celebrate Thanksgiving but I personally think its an amazing holiday, which allows a person to express his gratitude.
I am grateful for the two boys in my home. They make me so happy.
When I was pregnant with Hamza, all I dreamt about was having a little girl. I made myself to believe that it IS a girl. After all, i was the mother, i was supposed to have these motherly instincts that tipped me off. I wanted to buy those cute little dresses, bows, hair clips, skirts, frocks, bangles, fantasised about having tea parties with my girl, playing house, doing dress up, all things girly (which was a surprise since I am not a very girly person myself). Whenever i went to shopping for the baby, i saw these huge aisle after aisle of clothes for baby girls, and always just a small corner for the boys stuff. I used to wander between those racks and got all excited about the day when the doctor will confirm my prediction that its a girl and i will rush back here and get all cute stuff for my coming princess.
At my 20 week ultrasound appointment, me and the husband were obviously very thrilled. He wanted a boy, i was so smug that i was gonna prove him wrong in a few minutes. When the doctor pressed the ultrasound tool over my belly and announced that its definitely a boy, i was surprised by my own rush of emotions. I, who had never doubted for even a second that it will be a girl, looked up to my husband with those happy tears in his eyes, and came to realize how happy I myself am over hearing this. The truth is it didn’t matter whether it was a girl or a boy for both of us, but the fact that we finally knew what it was, gave the whole pregnancy situation the reality factor that was somehow missing. Now we could finally stop fantasising about it, and live and prepare for the reality.
And oh boy, do i love being the mommy of this little monster of a boy! Its the best thing! I love how different he is from me. how much more energetic even at 14 months. Always a blur of motion and activity. Never a still moment in this boy’s life. All the climbing up on chairs, tables, windows, you name it. The curiosity to dissect every thing his little hand touches. The instinct to always check every object by thrashing it against any surface a few times. You know, just to prove who is the boss around here. And thats why the toy baskets are always filled with mismatched, broken heap of toys.
He loves being thrown in air, and doing all kinds of stunts with his Dad, even though sometimes they extract terrified squeals from me.
Its my utmost pleasure to see the way his personality is shaping up to be. I cant put words to it, but he has this manner of taking care of me. Like whenever he is eating or drinking anything, he would offer me again and again and will be very happy doing that. If I am sad or sometimes crying infront of him (i m not proud of it, but it happens), he would run to me, hug me, pat my face and the concern that his eyes shows for me —- my hearts overflows with emotion!
Annnddddd what do you know…!!! I love shopping for you! Its my favourite thing to do now. One thing i always failed to achieve was get my brother or husband buy clothes of my choice. I really like boys clothes, but they never listened to my suggestions. Ha! too bad for them! Cause now i have my very personal male model to dress up 😉 (and i am not boasting, but i kind of have this amazing taste in clothes so you my child, are in safe hands).