Tag Archives: life with a toddler

I like boring things.


I never knew i was such a conventional person at heart. But lately, I am coming to more and more realisations about myself. I am learning to accept myself finally for what I am, and not what my idea of myself is.

I like boring things. I like freshly made beds, the smell of just-laundered clothes, the sound of soup simmering away on the stove, the background sound of tv as I accomplish daily household chores.

I like putting away messes of cluttered objects many times a day, thanks to my toddler son. I like doing things as planned. I like putting stuff back in order. It gives a strange satisfaction and makes me feel like i am in control of my life. Its the little things that matter so much to me. That my baby has napped well, he has eaten his lunch etc.

I like to stay on top of things. There is always milk in the fridge, snacks in the pantry. And when not, I like making lists. I LOVE making lists. and then checking off the completed items.

I have accepted that i am a domestic person at heart. There is nothing that gives me more happiness than seeing my little family together at the end of the day, whether its when my husband is working on his laptop and my baby is busy making messes around the family room and I am sipping on tea while the tv blares in background, or its when the three of us are taking a drive around the city, or when my boys are finally sleeping with their mouths agape and their limbs arranged in a disorderly fashion. God my heart swells with love for these two. I want nothing more. Just their happiness and well-being and health. (and maybe an occasional chance to go to the movies, its been sooooo long i tell u).

Although we muslims dont celebrate Thanksgiving but I personally think its an amazing holiday, which allows a person to express his gratitude.

I am grateful for the two boys in my home. They make me so happy.



I am raising a boy.

When I was pregnant with Hamza, all I dreamt about was having a little girl. I made myself to believe that it IS a girl. After all, i was the mother, i was supposed to have these motherly instincts that tipped me off. I wanted to buy those cute little dresses, bows, hair clips, skirts, frocks, bangles, fantasised about having tea parties with my girl, playing house, doing dress up, all things girly (which was a surprise since I am not a very girly person myself). Whenever i went to shopping for the baby, i saw these huge aisle after aisle of clothes for baby girls, and always just a small corner for the boys stuff. I used to wander between those racks and got all excited about the day when the doctor will confirm my prediction that its a girl and i will rush back here and get all cute stuff for my coming princess.

At my 20 week ultrasound appointment, me and the husband were obviously very thrilled. He wanted a boy, i was so smug that i was gonna prove him wrong in a few minutes. When the doctor pressed the ultrasound tool over my belly and announced that its definitely a boy, i was surprised by my own rush of emotions. I, who had never doubted for even a second that it will be a girl, looked up to my husband with those happy tears in his eyes, and came to realize how happy I myself am over hearing this. The truth is it didn’t matter whether it was a girl or a boy for both of us, but the fact that we finally knew what it was, gave the whole pregnancy situation the reality factor that was somehow missing. Now we could finally stop fantasising about it, and live and prepare for the reality.

And oh boy, do i love being the mommy of this little monster of a boy! Its the best thing! I love how different he is from me. how much more energetic even at 14 months. Always a blur of motion and activity. Never a still moment in this boy’s life. All the climbing up on chairs, tables, windows, you name it. The curiosity to dissect every thing his little hand touches. The instinct to always check every object by thrashing it against any surface a few times. You know, just to prove who is the boss around here. And thats why the toy baskets are always filled with mismatched, broken heap of toys.

He loves being thrown in air, and doing all kinds of stunts with his Dad, even though sometimes they extract terrified squeals from me. 

Its my utmost pleasure to see the way his personality is shaping up to be. I cant put words to it, but he has this manner of taking care of me. Like whenever he is eating or drinking anything, he would offer me again and again and will be very happy doing that. If I am sad or sometimes crying infront of him (i m not proud of it, but it happens), he would run to me, hug me, pat my face and the concern that his eyes shows for me —- my hearts overflows with emotion!

Annnddddd what do you know…!!! I love shopping for you! Its my favourite thing to do now. One thing i always failed to achieve was get my brother or husband buy clothes of my choice. I really like boys clothes, but they never listened to my suggestions. Ha! too bad for them! Cause now i have my very personal male model to dress up 😉 (and i am not boasting, but i kind of have this amazing taste in clothes so you my child, are in safe hands).


Motherhood — the sweetest, purest pleasure

Dear Hamza, the day you were born changed my life. I came across such love and passion that i did not know existed. I experienced such rush of emotion that it overwhelmed me and i forgot all about the pain of the c-section that was performed to deliver you, i forgot i was drugged so heavily that i was supposed to sleep most of the time but after laying my eyes on you my precious boy, i could not even blink, did not want to take any chance on missing any moment with you. You were so perfect! You ARE so perfect. You were a snowball, the most beautiful baby i had ever seen. I was so amazed that i gave birth to YOU. How was that possible that something so beautiful, so perfect, came out of me. God is kind. For you, i m a million times grateful and then some more. You completed me. Gave me a purpose of life. I have never enjoyed anything more than i enjoy being you Mama. Its the best thing. I have finally found where I belong. I have never experience anything more fulfilling and rewarding.
Now you are almost 15 months old. How did that happen so fast? They say time flies when you are having a good one, they are right. You are the happiest baby i have ever seen. The most charming, the most social, interactive, playful, mischievious…. You are truly your own person. The way your mind works, its pure genius. You understand EVERY thing these days. You follow some instructions quite magnificently (like passing the remote, doing high five, waving, pointing to the light and plants when asked etc etc). Just this evening, you discovered music and the dance moves with you, haha, you are so fun to watch each day and live with!
You want to share everything with me these days, whether its you food, milk, dummy, or any toy you are playing with, i didnt teach you this yet, yet you do it, thats why you are so amazing! Cause you are learning on you own. Becoming this little person with his own habits and ways. So perfect in you imperfections. I feel very clever everyday for having created you.
The best thing about you is your kind and loving heart. You have so much love and warmth for everyone around you. You are really lucky and blessed to have so many amazing people love you so dearly, and maybe thats why you have learnt to be so loving in return. You spread smiles and happiness everywhere you go.
You started walking about a month ago, and that makes you happy and proud beyond any other thing! Strutting all day long all over the house now, this stage is most definitely my favourite one! Yes, there are more messes, but there is also more laughter, more love in our home now due to you. And for that my child, I am so thankful to you.



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I promise to be by your side always and forever, no matter what. I love you to the moon and back. You made me the luckiest. You made me the happiest.